Who or why, or which, or what,

Is the Akond of Swat?

Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?
Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,
or SQUAT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,
or HOT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk
And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,
or TROT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?
Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,
or a COT ,

The Akond of Swat?

When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
Does he cross his T's and finish his I's
with a DOT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Can he write a letter concisely clear
Without a speck or a smudge or smear
or BLOT ,

The Akond of Swat!

Do his people like him extremely well?
Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,
or PLOT ,

At the Akond of Swat?

If he catches then then, either old or young,
Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,
or SHOT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Do his people prig in the lanes or park?
Or even at times, when days are dark,
GAROTTE?

O the Akond of Swat!

Does he study the wants of his own dominion?
Or doesn't he care for public opinion
a JOT ,

The Akond of Swat?

To amuse his mind do his people show him
Pictures, or anyone's last new poem,
or WHAT ,

For the Akond of Swat?

At night, if he suddenly screams and wakes,
Do they bring him only a few small cakes,
or a LOT ,

For the Akond of Swat?

Does he live on turnips, tea or tripe?
Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,
or a DOT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Does he like to lie on his back in a boat,
Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,
SHALLOTT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?
Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,
or a SCOT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?
Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,
or a GROTT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?
or a POT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe
When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,
or ROT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,
And tie it neat in a bow with ends,
or a KNOT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,
or NOT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
Does he sail about on an inland lake
in a YACHT ,

The Akond of Swat?

Someone, or nobody, knows, I wot,
Who or which or why or what
Is the Akond of Swat!


Edward Lear